I learned this one the hard way. Many years ago, I began seeing a doctor because he had been voted ”Best Rheumatologist in the State” the year before. Right away, it was clear that we were not a good fit. The way he spoke to me felt condescending, dismissive, and at times outright belittling. When I would try to ask clarifying questions or explain how something was making me feel, he acted like I was being a nuisance. I continued to see him for a while because after all, he was the best, but things didn’t get better. Our relationship only continued to degrade with every visit until I actually found myself in a screaming match with him in the middle of a routine appointment (I am not someone with a short temper or who has ever gotten to that point before or since this incident). This doctor may have been very knowledgeable, and with over 25 years in practice, he certainly had experience, but he was clearly not the right doctor for me.
If you have a doctor who, for whatever reason, you don’t get along with, don’t have confidence in, or don’t feel heard by please look elsewhere. It doesn’t matter if your friend goes to them, how many awards they have, or how highly regarded they are by their peers. None of those things necessarily mean that they are the right doctor for you. Your health is the most important thing in your life and there are many good doctors in all fields of medicine. Taking the time to assemble a healthcare team that is right for you, by your own standards, is an important act of self-care and self-love.